we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
