we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize