so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
