I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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