I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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