Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i came on her dog
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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