so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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