He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
