Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
