Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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