Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
