I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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