Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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