We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
