And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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