I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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