Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
