They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
