...so i touched it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
