so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
