thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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