paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
