I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
