Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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