Dude my mom stole all your condoms
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
