i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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