She's JV to your varsity
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just want nice things and good sex
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
