So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
