I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize