You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
