so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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