go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
