There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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