Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
