You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
