I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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