I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
