idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
