I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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