Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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