I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
