I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
