Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
