my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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