Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
