Non-Jews are for practice
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
