My brain says no but my pants say off.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize