Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
