Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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