My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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