I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
