im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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