I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
