If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
