is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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