I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
