i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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