I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
this will be a night to untag.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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