You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, itβs that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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