It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
