She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize