Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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