i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
