PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
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Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And then my night got REAL pukey
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i am craving dick and cupcakes