Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
