Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!

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(908): View more from New Jersey

she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(303): View more from Colorado

Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(225): View more from Louisiana

i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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(561): View more from Florida

Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

(561): View more from Florida

But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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(609): View more from New Jersey

These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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(765): View more from Indiana

So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome

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