Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.