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You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Randomize
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