Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (869)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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  (832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right? http://tfl.nu/a8lp
  Replies (25) Good night (3852) Bad night (758)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding

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  (770): The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding http://tfl.nu/pa6f
  Replies (21) Good night (7187) Bad night (1154)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

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  (203): So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?" http://tfl.nu/t9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (5410) Bad night (1733)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?

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  (613): Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots? http://tfl.nu/j4og
  Replies (6) Good night (2878) Bad night (987)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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  (520): I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour http://tfl.nu/ht3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2067) Bad night (800)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.

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  (505): I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking. http://tfl.nu/gybt
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (1090)
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  (835): View more from Pennsylvania

  You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"

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  (835): You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood" http://tfl.nu/u3xk
  Replies (2) Good night (1427) Bad night (544)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.

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  (816): I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched. http://tfl.nu/gdap
  Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (370)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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  (423): We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off. http://tfl.nu/yele
  Replies (17) Good night (3208) Bad night (509)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.

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  (416): I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex. http://tfl.nu/t4eg
  Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (379)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was so scary.

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  (405): I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out. (405): It was so scary. http://tfl.nu/0h8m
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.

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  (770): Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all. http://tfl.nu/kjla
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off

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  (530): Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off http://tfl.nu/lcz9
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

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  (856): You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off" http://tfl.nu/cdng
  Replies (0) Good night (3) Bad night (4)

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