Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.