I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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